I once sat crying for so long trying to decide what to do with myself I didn’t realise I was late for school. I’ve never got dressed so quickly but when I realised how pathetic I’d been all I could do was laugh. The first person I wanted to text about my pathetic episode was the reason I was in such a state which meant I had to find someone else to amuse.
My friends always make fun of how I always end up falling for the guys I’m closest to or care about them way more than they deserve but I can’t do anything about it. It’s a strength and weakness I guess and as much as I’ve recently wanted to change that why should I just because of a few of people?
I’m a total sucker for romance. I could happily sit for days watching soppy movies fantasizing over the men . Ever seen the movie ‘One Day’ with Anne Hathaway and the fit Jim Sturges? Basically a guy and a girl meet, they nearly hook up and they become best friends. The movie covers their lives over twenty years watching their ups and downs together whilst they’re the best of friends and when they just don’t talk at all. Eventually they realise their love but it doesn’t end up to well.
Except for the part after they fall in love and it ends badly I remember sitting in the cinema crying my eyes out into some random woman to the left of me I’d never met before when it hit me like a baseball bat to the head. (I couldn’t cry to my guy friend come on how embarrassing?!) I realised I had that with the person sat to my right. We couldn’t be trusted to be around each other after a few drinks but we truly cared about each other. In the future I knew whenever I was upset I would call him at stupid o’clock and he would have to come over, slag off whoever made me upset whilst being forced minstrels/skittles and hug me till it didn’t hurt so much. The thought of knowing I could rely on someone so much felt nice especially as I knew everything was about to change.
Most people know what it’s like to suddenly not have that rock there for you any more. What do you do? How do you act? Who do you talk to? Isn’t it ironic how the songs you listen to every day when you’re happy end up being the songs you HATE? The constant reminders of what you’ve lost have to be the worst and the most annoying, for example you see someone jogging and burst out crying because they went jogging. Laugh all you want everyone does it! We all have that set period when we believe our lives are over and sit feeling sorry for ourselves pretending the songs were written for us.
Today I heard something interesting. Long story short group of friends were asking cinema boy how things were and he couldn’t answer. You will hear different things from different people but what I find hard to believe is how someone that was meant to care about you so much can one day turn around and not even be able to talk to you about how they’ve felt. Yes it’s be easier to make someone believe you don’t care about them but I believe if you care about someone you fight for them as much as you can. You can’t wait for them to make all the effort but at the same time there’s only so much fighting you can do. If someone doesn’t care why bother killing yourself over them when you can move on and be happy. It’s funny how they say if you’re not treating someone as they deserve someone is always waiting to do it for you. It’s true. Some days will feel as raw as they did at first. Like you’ve been punched in the stomach and had your heart ripped out but that’s part of life, it’s part of growing up deal with it. Most people will stick to what they know and believe is safe. Just because you’re not being forced to move on and have the choice on whether you move on or not usually means people stick to the things that will hurt them even more in the future.
Not everyone can look at the brighter side of life but you get one life on earth which isn’t long. Why be alive and not live? You have more than most people could ever wish for so be thankful and either treat people with respect and courtesy or if you know you can’t treat them as they truly deserve grow a pair and don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Ever thought you couldn’t live without a person? Your best friend, the ying to your yang? The booty to your licisious? A day without talking to them felt like a month and the very thought of them not being in your future was just ludicrous! Where are they now? Funny how you’re still here even though they aren’t…