Happiness,  Lifestyle

Dating a 21st century girl

Amongst all this Brexit malarkey, I thought we’d have a light hearted non-political blog!
Our generation is re-writing the playbook when it comes to dating. People meet online now, women want equality and dates aren’t just a movie and dinner. That however doesn’t mean us girls can’t be old fashioned.
One thing men seem to be getting wrong is the difference between a girl that expects a guy to do everything and a girl looking for a gentleman.
When I go on a date I test my guys. Firstly, I’ll always make suggestions in terms of what we should do on a first date but I like him to make the final decision, at least at first. Not only does this show how creative/attentive he is, it also shows if he can be a “real man”. By this I mean can he take charge and be decisive?? Nothing is hotter than a guy that will take your suggestions and feelings into account but can be decisive when he needs to be. We all know how indecisive women can be!
The perfect first date doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner with fancy clothes. My favourite dates have been where a guy has taken note of really small things that I like and I’ve felt totally comfortable, sometimes in my fat man pants aka joggers.
One guy took me to what is now my favourite bar. Yes the person contributed as we had lots to talk about (it wasn’t just me making the conversation) and remembered little things like what I liked to drink. This date ended in us watching a movie and that became our thing.
Another guy literally just took me for a drive. However, this was a drive with a difference. We drove around whilst I was taught the history of the city and shown specific landmarks. It was then followed by simple food from a chabby chic little Mexican place where I got to try something new and he ordered. HE. ORDERED. FOR. ME! He’d taken note of the types of things I liked and didn’t like and he had the balls to choose for me, in a respectful way of course.
One guy went the whole shebang. I was told to dress up nicely and that I’d be picked up at a certain time. He took me to a lovely restaurant where I got to try food I’d never tried before and they cooked it all in front of us. It was pretty cool watching things set on fire and meant we had things to talk about even though we were both nervous.
Another was just over a hot chocolate and some cake. Now, I LOVE my cake, top that off with some hot chocolate, whipped cream, marshmallows and I’m one happy child.
A couple of things that topped all these dates off however was the fact that not only did the guys make as much conversation as I did but they also offered to pay. Now I don’t expect a guy to pay for both of us every single time. How much we both make will come into account but the chivalrous thing to do on a first date I believe is for a guy to offer to pay. If he doesn’t have enough money that’s fair enough but that’s something you hint before.
I once went on a date where a guy didn’t even hesitate when the bill came and it came to us splitting it. Sorry pal but women are pretty judgemental and no one likes a cheap skate.  If I know you’ve spent a lot of money on pretty silly things and you can’t just wait a week when you know you have a date, of course you will be judged.
I can’t stress how important it is to pay attention to what a girl says she likes. I’m not your typical girlie girl but every girl loves that soppy crap once in a while. From knowing what kind of food a girl likes to opening doors for her. It can all come in different forms but the most memorable dates aren’t where people spend £200 but where they make the tiniest bits of effort to show they’re actually interested in a person.
Obviously every relationship is different and the dynamics of every relationship will vary. Not all girls are shy and indecisive and not all guys are brass and comfortable straight away. My point is that things may be changing in the current world but please guys, keep chivalry alive!


  • SouthernandSingle

    Love it! You are so right. Even from across the pond, this is the way it is now. I totally agree with everything you say. I have been “dating” for a good 15 years and the things that impress me are still the same. I am not a fan of a guy taking forever deciding one what to do. It’s nice to have a man decide for the first few dates. Great blog!

  • Bwalyah

    “I once went on a date where a guy didn’t even hesitate when the bill came and it came to us splitting the bill.” Oh no no no no this is one guy I don’t intend on seeing again to be honest women like to be spoil! ?

  • LaNiqueLifestyle

    This is true, I agreed to a lot of what you said in this post. I like when a man can take charge, not only is it sexy, it helps when i honestly don’t know what i want to do. Lol It took me a while to let my boyfriend be the gentleman that he is, now i’m so called “spoiled” lol I enjoyed reading some of your other posts as well. check out my blog when you have the chance 🙂

    • chikumo

      Totally know where you’re coming from. If that’s being spoiled then I don’t know what not being spoiled is!
      Thanks very much! I will do 🙂

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