So this morning I found myself running late, run to the bus stop in good time just for the bus to be late. Walked into class and I was told to take a laptop and look at decision maths on a laptop for an hour and a half which made me wish I’d taken my time even more! I easily get distracted so I found myself filling out a questionnaire on forced/ arranged marriages (random I know) to pass the time.
Up until recently I’d have said all arranged and forced marriages are wrong and I still agree with that statement when it comes to forced marriages but I found myself writing the opposite of what I thought I believed when I was posed with the question:
“Which one of these do you think is most successful; an arranged or a love marriage? What do you believe are the consequences and why?”
Recently I was on a trip to London and some of us got talking about why people had arranged marriages and why they’d do it. I laughed and said I’d never let my mum choose who I got married to because she’d pick a typical Zambian man who is over the top with tradition and won’t eat anything but Zambian food but I had a friend who said he was in the position to have an arranged married and he wanted to do it. He said he thinks his parents know whats right for him and will know whats best especially when it comes to having a wife. Basically once you’re set up you get to know each other and eventually fall in love as you find out what you each have in common. Obviously we all laughed at him and said he was mad. All the girls believed their mothers would choose someone they’d have chosen for themselves rather than us but as I filled out this questionnaire I found myself thinking maybe he did have a point. I’m not saying I suddenly want an arranged married don’t get me wrong but to an extent arranged marriages come with religion which means they have set morals and rules which normal ‘love marriages’ wouldn’t for example once you are married to a person they’re yours for life to love and cherish and you’re meant to work through everything thick or thin. In society nowadays you hear a lot about divorce because some people just don’t want to fight. Sometimes the respect for each other just isn’t there. You find people don’t always get married for the right reasons. Maybe if they were forced to fight for it they’d appreciate it more or is that just my line of thinking?
I realised in the end even though we don’t think arranged marriages happen in our society technically it’s just being ‘set up’. Friends and family do it, yes not to be married but eventually some people do get married so it does happen. All the sides have an argument and I don’t believe one is more valid than another it just depends how you look at life I guess.