You can't trust anyone these days
You know what annoys me? Everyone wants something from you when it’s convenient for them. They all have certain expectations of you and if you can’t give them what they want they won’t give you a second thought. Even for the people you try so hard with, isn’t it funny how you’ll go to the ends of the earth for them but as soon as you need something they’re not there and it becomes tit for tat trying to prove who’s done what for the other…
Please don’t get me wrong. This blog isn’t directly aimed at one or two people in particular, it’s aimed at everyone. I’ve had a roller coaster couple of months where I’ve gone from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. That isn’t just in one aspect of my life. It’s everything from uni to business to relationships and beyond. Some days I’ve just wanted to give up completely. Nothing would make me happier than to lock myself up in my flat with my onsie, a nice Chinese, a bit of Suits (my latest obsession) and a nice crying session. Saying that, I’ve also had moments where I’ve literally wanted to cry with happiness. I’ve taken a step back, seen just how lucky and blessed I am and literally been speechless.
I’ve learned a lot recently about the people I trust, or should I say trusted…
My circle of confidants isn’t big. I learned very early on that real friends are a rarity so my motto in life is that if you make an effort with me I will do the same with you. There are people I meet and know straight away I will stay in touch with them for a long time and there are also people I meet that I know for a fact once I finish whatever I’m doing we probably won’t speak again. That’s life I guess. What annoys me is that even in my small circle of friends (blood relations or not) the people I thought I could trust with certain information I can’t. I choose very carefully who I tell what to. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to therefore I may tell them more than I usually would but what surprises me is how people can pretend to be oblivious to what they’re doing whilst they’re stabbing you in the back.
I’m a naturally trusting person and will give most people the benefit of the doubt. Call me naïve or whatever you please but that’s just me and no matter how much I try to change I can’t. When I care about you I care with my whole heart. However, where I am now choosing to draw the line is in regards to the information I share and the level of trust and respect I have for people. People will upset you because they think they’re doing what is best for you but that is drastically different to making someone feel completely alone and like they have no one they can turn to in their hour of need. Sometimes you may not see the effect you have on people. You may not be able to see how low you can make them feel or how much unnecessary pain you cause them. Whether you genuinely care or not, the next time you complain about not having anyone there for you ask yourself this;
Can you genuinely say you’ve been good to the people around you that you expect to be there for you and have you put their needs before yours?
Very true… I sometimes try too hard to please people who I know won’t be there for me.
Sadly I know exactly how you feel. Maybe one day things will change.