I’ve wanted to start my mental health series for a long time but never really knew where to start. What better place to start than when I’m going through a pretty rubbish period of my life?!
Firstly, when I talk about mental health, I’m talking about the ability to cope with day to day life. I’ll cover the good and the bad, self-care tips and stories from myself and people that have been kind enough to contribute in the series but, I wanted to start with a blog that lets you into my head a little.
I want to write this over the space of a few weeks to point out that day to day life has it’s ups and downs. I may be writing this on a low day but who knows where it’ll end? All I know is that I need a positive mental mindset if I’m going to survive it…
Anyway, as someone who plans everything and has a plan B ready for most outcomes, life has a way of crapping on you and showing you that you can never plan for how you’ll feel when your life drastically changes.
My age right now doesn’t mean much to me but lets be ironic and call this my quarter life crisis.
I’m writing this on a day where mentally, I’m coping but I’m apprehensive. I am happy and looking forward to what is next but if you’d have caught me a few days ago or last week, the story may have been very different.
Me and Sean breaking up and being told I was being made redundant was like going through two heartbreaks at once. You feel like you’re not wanted, not valued and not appreciated. You give your all to your relationship and your career, for what? For it to end…
That’s one way of looking at it and a way that is mentally likely to send you into a negative spiral. I’ve come to learn that weirdly; I thrive the most when I feel like I’ve failed at something. I believe self-reflection is very important. You have to know yourself before you give yourself to anyone or anything so that when obstacles come up (which they do), you’ll be more likely to handle them better.
Here are a few tips that have helped me to get my head around things over the last couple of months –
- Life has a way of kicking you when you’re down
You can either feel sorry for yourself and mope around or you can look forward to what you want next. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with moping about, let yourself feel crap but not for long!
- Your state of mind has a massive impact on the lifestyle you need
Instead of going off the rails partying etc., I took myself off on a holiday to de-stress had the time of my life with one of my best friends. The more you tell yourself to be positive, the more positive you become.
- Never under undervalue yourself
I can’t stress this one enough. My dad has always told me, “never act desperate”. Whether that’s for a job or a man, the statement fits. If you know what you deserve then you’ll know and understand that it’s worth the fight and wait.
- It’s okay to be selfish and focus on yourself
Months ago, I started focusing on myself more, whether it was my eyelashes and nails or not doing things I didn’t want to. I find it very hard saying no to people but I’m slowly getting there which has given me the time to re-strategise and get a plan together in terms of what I want going forward.
- Spend time with people who make you happy
When you retreat from everyone and life in general, there are people who really do stick by you and those people are absolute gems. There are also other people who revel in your misery, don’t get the two mixed up…
As I said, I started writing this at a really low point in my life. A couple of months on and it’s been a roller-coaster of emotions but, I allowed myself to feel down. I have been mardy, I have cried and I have eaten some lovely, crappy food! Saying that, I didn’t stay in that state for too long because when I look at it, I haven’t really lost anything.
Me and Sean had a couple of weeks where things were difficult but the dynamics of our relationship have completely changed for the better. There are no more silly arguments and the boundaries are very clear because that’s what we both wanted. Through it all, I never lost my best friend…
Work wise – my eyes have been opened a lot. I have learned some hard truths as well as seeing how generous people can be! At the end of the day, the redundancy was not my fault so I am holding my head high and I have decided to channel that into an exciting new chapter which I will be sharing with you all soon!
Things may not be perfect but the world hasn’t ended. Far from it…